Back Story...literally! Part 1

Hello everyone!!
As many of you all know, I have been having some pretty painful back issues. I would not wish this on anyone...no matter how much I dislike them! Today is 2 weeks post-op!! Woo Hoo!!

Back story: Around the first week of February I started having some mild, lower back pain. It didn't seem like anything too bad and I have a history of back pain from time to time. Before this time, it always resolved on it's own.
Well this time, it didn't. The pain started to get worse and then I started having pain in my left leg. This leg pain is called sciatica and is common with lower back injuries. I spoke to several of the doctors I work with and they all told me to try a steroid dose pack,  NSAIDS, and ibuprofen. They said hopefully in 4-6 weeks it should resolve itself.
Well 6 weeks later, my pain was worse and I was popping pills every 4 hours like clockwork...even in the middle of the night, to get any relief I could. I was hobbling around the best that I could. I could manage to get through work, but on my days off I was useless. It took those days to recover so that I could manage to go back to work. I finally called and made an appointment with a spine specialist.
He took some x-rays, I had an MRI and was diagnosed with DJD and a protruding disk. The DJD didn't surprise me, it's fairly normal, but the protruding disk, not so much.
It was nice to finally have an answer, to know that I wasn't crazy.
Now what to do about it....

I'm not Perfect...

That's it....that's all I have to say.



Who am I kidding....Like I could ever stop there.

I never claimed to be perfect. Yes, like most women I like to think I'm right most of the time...Who am I kidding...I usually am. =^}

I get fed up by trying to have discussions with people, when they don't listen. I don't care if I'm right or wrong. I just want the other person to take the time to listen. At least to try and understand my point of view.

I get very frustrated at having to repeat myself because someone can't take the time to listen. Especially when later it becomes an issue. I hate when I have taken the time to explain and discuss all sides of an issue, then later, be it days or weeks, the subject comes up again and it's like it's brand new. Seriously....

This issue affects more than one aspect of my life. I'm not bitching about anything in particular....or am I....

This is one of those things that I don't miss at all about work. as  nurse we spend a lot of time explaining what's going on. None of us mind doing it. As a matter of fact many of us enjoy it. But there is limit. You can't ask the same questions over and over again and expect a different answer. If you don't understand...tell us...maybe we need to explain it differently!!

This post really isn't about work....but it was a good example...I'm overwhelmed...I'm trying to do the best I can...

Don't get upset with me because you don't understand...Ask...if your willing to listen I will be happy to explain!

Bush said it well... Everything Zen (Unfinished)

This is a post I started back in Novemember 2010! I had a wonderful idea one night. Starting typing, got sidetracked....Like I often do....and the next day I had no clue where I was going with it! I have glanced at it every couple of months....still no clue. So here is the unfinished ramblings by yours truley! (maybe one of you all can figure it out!!)


"If you know the song, you know that Everything Zen is posed like a question.... and I for one can say that at the moment....everything is not Zen.

I love my family...with everything I have and everything I am. I just wish that....I could feel just a little of that in return.

I know that it is normal for a child to not appreciate everything their mother does for them."

Catching up!!

I know it has been awhile since I posted anything! You would think with all my issues and me not working at the moment I would have more time.

I just thought you all should know......I am working on several different posts. It's just hard to find the time to finish them!!

If I can get my computer to cooperate and upload my pics!! I will hopefully have one post ready this afternoon/evening!!!

Hope all is well with everyone!! I have lots of news to share!!!

Who....no...really

My hubs seems to think he has some sort of connection...with a famous person.  One who I will not mention by name...

He is currently sitting here streaming on Ustream,....or whatever it's called.

Guess what he's streaming...you guessed it....my boobs....

I know he's proud of them and all but seriously....can't you find something better!!

I love him anyways!

Karma...what?

I just don't get it. I spend 40% +/- of my time helping people. I'm a nurse and I love my job. I don't take a lot of time off. I actually like going to work...most days!

So the week I started planning in October... has turned into me being injured and sick... I just don't get it.

First I find out that I can't have all my time off (this was several weeks ago)...then I hurt myself and end up with sciatica going on week number 6. On my second day off, I developed a runny nose and it has been downhill from there.

All I wanted was a break, some time to spend with my family and maybe actually clean my house. I will still try to do the best I can, but lets face it...my motivation is out the window!

Pity Party Table of One

I'm having one of those days, you know what I'm talking about.

I just feel so alone sometimes. I know I'm not. I know there are many people out there who care about me. I know that I'm lucky to have married my best friend.

I just feel like I'm the one one who gets stuck doing most of the work.

I try to talk about it, but it doesn't always go over well. I think, he thinks I'm trying to put him down. I'm not, I don't want him to feel that way, but I would like him to try and understand how I feel.

I'm a very empathetic person. It is one of the many things that turned me to nursing. I always try to consider others feelings. Sometimes I do this too much. He always tells me not to get so close to my patients, but they are a part of me. They touch me, often in ways I never thought they could. My empathetic self tends to hurt me at home though. I seem to think that because I voice my feelings everyone else should understand them....but they don't....then I get upset.

I don't know what to do about this....I'm trying to handle it on a day by day basis, some days are better than others.

There is so much more I want to say, but I feel like now isn't the time. Pieces.....I will discuss in pieces..

PS: I do not like blogging on the laptop....I keep mis typing, my fingers are too short and stubby!!!